Do You Need To Recharge?

Are you an introvert or extrovert?  I've known for many years that I am an introvert, but it wasn't until recently that I realized how much this affects my life as a mom. I was reading a blog post by someone the other day, and she talked about her struggles as a mom with an introverted personality.  When I read this, it was like a giant light switch was turned on for me!  I am a classic introvert. 

I have been finding it more and more difficult to not feel emotionally drained at the end of the day when I don't have the time to myself that I need so much.  My son (who is definitely an extrovert!) loves to talk all day long.  He's just like his dad.  (Now I'll see if you read my posts, Kevin!)  Joshua talks from the minute he wakes up until he goes to bed at night.  He also loves being around people all the time.  Often his last question to me before I put him to bed is, "Mommy, where are we going tomorrow?"  He loves to meet new people, and he gets really upset and bored if we don't go anywhere one particular morning during the week.  Missing a day of preschool due to the snow can seem like a catastrophe to him.  He loves crowds and gets energized by large groups of people.  I, on the other hand, am the complete opposite!  I cherish time to myself, and I always have.  I need down time.  I don't have a great need to be around people all the time, and being around crowds can just completely drain me, and I start feeling anxious after too long.  Both my husband and son get bored very quickly if they do not have frequent activities going on with other people. I, on the other hand, would usually prefer a quiet evening to myself.  My husband and I are so completely opposite, but that's a whole other story...

Since becoming a mom, I have had such a tough time being "on" all the time without having much time to myself.  I know that everyone needs down time, but it seems like I need it more than anyone else in my house!  It's just been recently that I have been reminded that I'm just wired this way, and it doesn't mean I'm a bad mother.  I'm realizing that a lot of my frustration has been coming from having a child who is wired so differently than I am.  His needs are so different from mine.

I recently started  praying about this, and I know that God is beginning to help me find that balance between engaging with my children all day long and creating that time to myself that I need so much.  (I say "create", because I know it won't happen by itself!)  For example, if I ever have a few quiet minutes, I normally tend to jump online to check my e-mail.  Instead of doing that, I'm trying to use that time more wisely now.  I'll take those couple of minutes to pray or even just sit down.  I've noticed that when I have that much-needed time to myself, (even in 15-minute increments!) I function so much better as a mom.  I am much more patient and loving, and that means a much more peaceful home!

These are some scriptures that I have been meditating on lately:

• Isaiah 40:31 - "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint".
• Psalm 23:2 " - He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters".
• Philippians 4:19 - "And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus".

Regardless of your personality, God created us all with the need for down time.  Maybe you have a personality that is similar to mine, or maybe you're an extrovert who feels trapped within the four walls of your home when you don't go out!  No matter what your situation is, we all need a healthy balance of rest along with all of the responsibilities of everyday life.

It is considered so "normal" nowadays to be busy and on the go all day long without having a moment to ourselves (let alone time with God).  Maybe the only time you have is in your car on the way to and from work!  Use that time to unwind and praise Jesus for all He has done in your life.  Use that time to pray and recharge your spiritual battery.  If you don't have any quiet time that you are regularly spending with God, your spiritual life is going to go downhill and grow cold.  Consider praying that He will show you how to re-prioritize your life, because time alone with God is vital.  I know this sounds harsh, but if you (and I) don't have time to spend with God during the day, you are simply too busy, and your priorities need to be re-examined.

Do you purposefully create time to rest and recharge during your day? 

Happy 1st Birthday, Anna!

My Sweet Anna,

You are beautiful and amazing to me.  You light up the room when you're in it, and I believe that will always be the case.  Since the very day you were born, you have been so content.  I remember thinking in the hospital that you were the perfect definition of the word "grace".  You still are. 

I was devastated (to put it lightly) to have another
c-section, but God still gave me something I will never forget.  I knew I would not be allowed to hold you for a couple of hours, due to the c-section, even though I specifically requested to do so.  God made a way, though, to give me something that would remain in my heart forever.  A nurse brought you over to me and rested your sweet little face on my cheek.  That warm feeling of your face will never leave my memory.  Thank you, God, for giving me that precious memory!

I love you, Anna, and I can't wait to see who you will grow up to be some day.  We all love you, and most of all...God loves you!

Mommy

First Day of Preschool

Joshua had his first day of preschool the other day!  He was so excited to go, and he did a really great job.  When we got there, we waited outside of the classroom until the teacher let everyone in. He walked right in, found his name tag, and he never looked back!  (That made me happy and sad at the same time!)

We are so glad to be sending him to this school.  It's a solid Christian school that focuses on a lot of the same values that we have.  They intentionally don't have Halloween parties, which Kevin and I are so thankful for.  (We don't celebrate Halloween or "trick or treat" with Joshua, so this was a wonderful thing to learn about the school.)  I found out they also don't do "Santa Claus" which we're happy about, too.  Of course, Santa will be brought into the conversation by the kids as Christmas gets closer, but his teacher will just bring the conversation back to Jesus.  That's awesome!  He will also be learning bible verses throughout the week, etc.  We love his teacher, and I feel very settled in my heart about the whole thing! 

Here are some pictures that I took that morning:

Joshua and Daddy praying about his big day.  (This is the look Joshua gets on his face when he doesn't know what to do with himself!)

Mommy and Joshua

"Why is everyone taking pictures, Mommy?"

God's Awesome Protection

Yesterday afternoon, I took Joshua and Anna to watch our church's softball games. Anna wouldn't fall asleep during her nap time earlier, so she was really tired. She was just so miserable that we ended up leaving before the first game was over, and I was disappointed for having to leave so early. Just this morning, I received an e-mail from a friend who was at the game with us. This is what she wrote:

"I knew Anna was tired - bless her heart. Also I have to tell you it was God's plan for you to leave when you did. Maybe 3 plays after you started walking away - a ball came over the fence and would have landed on top of Anna's stroller!!!! We all went - wow that was God's protection over Anna!"

Isn't God awesome? This is the second time He protected one of my children at one of those games! When Joshua was about the same age, I was sitting on the bleachers with him beside me in the stroller. Halfway through the game, I decided to push his stroller back a little further, because I would be able to see him better. Not 5 minutes after that, a foul ball was headed our way. I couldn't see it because of the sun, but everyone was yelling for me to watch out. In a second's reaction, I extended the canopy part on the stroller to help shield Joshua. I couldn't see where the ball was! The ball hit right where he was sitting a few minutes earlier before I moved him back! (Just inches away.) Everyone was just in awe at what happened.

Thank you, Jesus, for protecting our little ones when we don't even know danger is coming!  You love them even more than we do.

Just For Fun...

I thought I'd show you one of the latest pictures I took of Joshua.  He LOVES bugs.  This just so happened to be a dead spider.  He was so proud to show me what he found!  If he's doing this at 3 years old, I can only imagine what he will be picking up when he's 7! 

I also love this picture of Anna.  She licks and chews on EVERYTHING she can get her mouth on!  You have to click on the picture to see it closer and get the full effect.  It's worth it!

A New Focus

I have had this sense of unsettledness in my heart for a few weeks now.  This morning, I think I realized what it's all about.  I don't have any goals in my life that I'm working towards.

Looking back over the last 5 years of my life, it seems as if I have focused mainly on pregnancy, raising young children, and pregnancy again.  I don't believe that Kevin and I are going to have any more children, so I'm not focused on dreaming about another pregnancy in the future.  God has blessed us with two wonderful children, and I'm so glad to have them!  I have felt such a sense of dissatisfaction in my heart since realizing that we're not going to have any more children, though.  It started out as me going through kind of a grieving process...

"We're done having children.  Now what?  What do I look forward to now?  All of Anna's "firsts" are my "lasts".  It's so bittersweet.  I miss that sense of expectation that comes from being pregnant."

All of these thoughts have been in the back of my mind most days.  I'm finally settled on the fact that I know we're not having any more children.  My heart has still felt so unsettled, though.  As I mentioned above, I now realize that it's because I don't have anything that I'm working towards now. 

I'm one of those "schedule" types.  I love schedules.  I love to plan.  If I don't schedule my day, I won't get anything done.  Not a day goes by when I follow that schedule completely, but I have to have some sort of guideline to focus on;  otherwise, nothing will ever get done.  That's just the way I work!  I realized this morning that I have been so focused on my day-to-day routine, that I forgot to think about setting goals for myself.  Sure, I'm always striving to become a better wife, mother and woman, but I have failed to set any specific goals for my life.  What does God want me to be doing? I need to pray and ask God about all of this.

I'm going to sit down and pray about what goals I can set for my life.  I want to set some short-term goals and long-term goals.  I know that they will be forever changing, somewhat, but I need to start somewhere!

Guarding Our Children's Hearts

I sometimes read the local paper online, and this is something that I stumbled upon today:

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 20-year-old female who has been dating my boyfriend, "Will," for three years. Our long-distance relationship was going along just fine until the topic of his 21st birthday came up recently. Will mentioned in passing that he's planning on going to a strip club with friends to celebrate this momentous birthday.Will says he just likes to look at women, that all men do and it's completely fine. He didn't seem to care how I felt about it. His mind was already made up. He wants me to be more accepting of who he is, but it turns my stomach to think of him hanging out at a strip club.

OFFENDED IN,
FORT COLLINS, COLO.

DEAR OFFENDED: If your boyfriend had attempted to hide his plans from you, or if he was planning on frequenting strip clubs alone and often, I'd say you should feel threatened. But he was open about going out to celebrate his "momentous" birthday with his friends — and plenty of women have been known to visit clubs with male dancers. So calm down. This has nothing to do with his "commitment" to you.

I can remember being in my late teens & early 20's watching movies and TV shows where the storyline almost always included young adults casually having sex.  I remember feeling like I took things like that (sex) too seriously, because it was done so casually on TV.  I thought I was over-reacting.  Now don't get me wrong.  I'm not pretending that I did everything the way I should have back then.  I didn't.  Judging by what I saw around me, I thought I was the only one who felt that way.  I didn't realize it then, but I was looking to the world to determine what was right and wrong - not God.  That's why it never sat right with me. 

I read the article that I posted above, and it just made me sad.  I feel so sad that this girl was made to feel like she was over-reacting to her boyfriend going to a strip club.  She SHOULD feel a lack of commitment from him.  God never created us to live like that.  God did not create us to lust after people who are not our spouse.  It's perfectly natural that she feels the way she does, because it goes against God's plan for mankind.  I realize that they were dating and not married.  God says, though, that even looking at a woman with lust is committing adultery!

Matthew 5:28 says, "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Ephesians 5:5 says, "Know this for sure, that no sexually immoral person, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and God."

This has made me even more determined to raise my children to know that following the world's standards will always lead to sin. The "world" is any belief, lifestyle, or way of thinking that is not of God.  It will always lead you away from God.  I never want either of my children to think that they are over-reacting when presented with lust or sex outside of marriage.  I know that I cannot control what they are exposed to when they are not with me.  Sometimes, I cannot even control what they're exposed to when they ARE with me. (Certain magazines in view at the check-out line, etc.) 

This article has made me even more determined to guard the hearts of my children all the more carefully.  That is my job as their mom.  We are already so careful about the DVD's that Joshua watches.  It may seem like no big deal to some people, but the movies/TV shows that our children watch are teaching them values!  Are they God's values, though?  Their young minds don't have the "filter" that we have to realize that everything they see is not ok.  Their sense of what is "normal" is being formed with everything they see.  As our children get older, it will be so much more difficult to monitor these things.  We have to be the ones to guard their hearts, because no one else will.  The world will never guard their hearts!  As they get older, I am hoping they will have learned how to guard their hearts by the example we have set.  They will know why we don't watch certain movies, TV shows, etc.  That is only the tip of the iceberg!  They will know that the world will always lead them away from God.  (I still feel like I'm learning this one myself, sometimes.)

Jesus, thank you for teaching me so early in my children's lives to guard their hearts.  Thank you that I have a husband who's heart is sensitive to this, also.  We, as parents, are to guard our children's hearts!

My Dear Joshua

You are so precious to me.  You have such a crazy, fun, and outgoing personality! Before you were born, I used to think that you would be just like me.  (I guess you are strong-willed, so you may have gotten that from me!) 

Raising you has been an interesting challenge for me, even from the very beginning.  I never really babysat much while growing up, and I didn't know the first thing about being a mom. (Scary, huh?)  I didn't know how difficult being a mom could be, but I always knew I wanted to be one.  I wouldn't trade it in for the world, though, because it's the most rewarding job I've ever had!

I should have known what your personality would be like when you flipped into a breech position 6 days before your due date.  I knew something happened, because it felt like you were doing jumping jacks in my stomach. You were facing the correct position the entire pregnancy until then.  The doctor told me that you wedged your little behind into my pelvis, and you were not going to go anywhere!

You were not the laid-back baby I (for some reason) expected.  I never knew that sleep deprivation could be so incredibly difficult!  We didn't know it for several months, but your system could not tolerate milk.  Your poor little face broke out all the time, and we found out it was because your body couldn't break down the protein.  It also explained why you were so fussy as a baby, and why you didn't sleep so well.  Sometimes you would cry for what seemed like hours.  Now we know why.  I'm sorry that I wasn't as patient as I should have been.

I knew from early on that you were a "people person".  You lit up when you saw new people, and you never minded being around strangers.  You actually seemed to enjoy trying to make them laugh and notice you.  I still can't believe how outgoing you are! 

You bring joy to so many people, Joshua.  We all love you.  Your silly personality reminds me not to take things too seriously.  Your tender heart reminds me of how loving God is.  Your love of new places and new people remind me that God wants us all to enjoy life.  I already see how you are a leader and a teacher.  That amazes me.  You are growing up so quickly, and I'm so proud of who you are becoming.  You are one of the most precious people in my life!

I have to remind myself to enjoy as much as I can now, because you won't always be so little.  You won't always want me to pick you up when you're really tired.  You won't always be looking out the window waiting for me to beep the horn when I drive by.  Some day I will look up at the window when I leave, and you won't be there.  You'll be all grown up.

I love you, Joshua!  You are such a wonderful little boy.  I hope that you always have such a love for people and life in general.  You are such a blessing to me.

Love,

Mommy

A Special Dress for Anna

My friend, Mary, made a dress for Anna before she was born.  Last night, I was wondering what I could dress her in for Easter.  I remembered the dress that Mary made, but I wasn't sure it would fit.  I got it out, and it's a perfect fit!  Thank you so much, Mary!  I love it, and I'm pretty sure Anna does too!  (It looks like she thought the bonnet's laces tasted pretty good!)

I couldn't decide which picture I liked the best, so I included several.  I'm still so used to little boy clothes, and dressing a little girl is so much more fun!

A Few Pictures

I just wanted to share a few recent pictures of Joshua and Anna.  Joshua has been sick for almost a week now, and I just discovered yesterday that he has strep throat and a bad left ear infection.  The poor little guy is miserable, but he's hanging in there.  Believe it, or not, he hasn't complained of any throat or ear pain (even when I asked him after I found out what he was diagnosed with).  He's a tough little guy!

Even though he's not feeling well, he still loves to smile for the camera.  He's my little performer.

Speaking of performers...I don't think that Anna is going to be one.  This is how she looks at me most of the time when she sees the camera!

Joshua is, at least, taking naps these days (most of the time).  This is how I found him today.  At first I thought he was trying to "hide", but then I realized he was really sleeping. It makes me cold just looking at this picture!

Here are two of my favorite recent pictures of my sweet Anna.

Last, but not least, here's a picture of my tired wonderful husband with Anna.  I stress the word wonderful, because he arranged to stay home from work today to help me out with Anna.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I have strep throat also!  I caught it early, because as soon as Joshua was diagnosed yesterday, I got in to see my doctor and found out that I had it too.  With these antiobiotics, I'll be contagious until tomorrow, so I'm so glad that Kevin has been around to help me! 

I know you sometimes read my posts, Kevin.  If you're reading this, I want to say thank you a thousand times!  You have been a huge help to me, and we love having you around during the day.  I love you!

Our Growing Girl

I took Anna to the doctor for her 4 month check up, and she's in the 97th percentile for both weight and length!  She weighs 16.9 lbs. and is 26 inches long.  I cannot believe that she is taller than 97% of the girls her age!  That's amazing to me.  I guess it shouldn't surprise me, though, because she's been wearing 6-9 month pants for awhile now, and they are often too short!  The doctor is not concerned about her weight, because her height and weight are both in the same percentile.  I guess that's what they look at.  I haven't started her on solids yet, either, because she has seemed fine with just the formula.  She also has been sleeping through the night.  She's been sleeping 12 hrs. a night since she was 10 weeks old!  Amazing.  I didn't know that was even possible!  Her doctor told me to hold off on giving her solids for another month, unless she starts to seem unsatisfied with what she's getting now.  I only feed her 4 times a day right now as it is...

Anna has been such a sweet baby.  She's so incredibly content almost all of the time.  She will actually sit and smile at me as I'm getting her bottle ready in the morning.  (She hasn't had anything to eat for at least 12 hrs. at that point!)  She is just so easy-going. Joshua has finally started to adjust her her joining our family!  He still tries to scare her by getting in her face and yelling.  The funny thing is, though, she has started laughing at this!  She beat him at his own game!  She just loves Joshua.  She giggles with me and some other people, but she lets out these big laughs with him.  It's so cute!  Joshua loves to pray for her when she takes her afternoon nap.  He's a good big brother.

Joshua has recently started enjoying "reading" to Anna while I'm getting her bottle ready.  I never realized how much he memorizes the books that we read him until he "reads" them to Anna.  A lot of it is repeated to her word for word.   I love my family, and I feel so incredibly blessed.  I was at the mall with the two of them last night, and I was watching Anna look around in her stroller while Joshua was walking beside us.  I hope that I never forget what it feels like to be in this stage of life.  Sometimes is can be so stressful and crazy.  Other times, though, it is so wonderful.  This is definitely one of those times! 

Snow, Snow, and More Snow!

Kevin and Joshua were out in the snow this morning, and this is definitely the most snow that Joshua has ever seen.  I think we got around 18 inches. He wasn't so sure that he liked it being so deep, at first!  He got used to it quickly, though, and he was soon asking me for his sled.  I went out later to find him helping his Daddy clean off the car, so I guess that was more fun than trying to walk in the snow with his sled!

A Child's Innocence

This is a conversation that Joshua and I had yesterday.  He's so cute!  (Of course I'm a little biased!)

Joshua:  "Mommy, I'm going to pray that Jesus gets a car.  He needs a car."

Me:  "Why does Jesus need a car?"

Joshua:  "He needs to come over to our house.  I'm so excited to see Him!"

Me:  "He's already here.  You just can't see Him!"

Joshua:  (confused look, of course!)

Me:  "He's in your heart."

Joshua:  (As he looks down) "He's in my heart?" (Then he starts to feel his stomach.)  "I think He might be in my tummy instead.  I think I feel Him in there, Mommy."

2009 Picture Collage

I made this on Facebook, and I just wanted to share it!  I love my family!

Enjoy Today!

Lately I have noticed that my 3-year-old does something very peculiar when he's eating something that he really enjoys.  I was watching him one day while he was eating crackers.  He absolutely LOVES crackers!  When he started eating the ones that I gave him, I noticed that he wasn't even really enjoying them.  He was shoving them in his mouth as quick as he could so he could get more.  When he got more, he still had his eyes on the ones that he didn't have while he was eating the ones in front of him.  He wasn't able to enjoy what he was already given, because he was too busy looking forward to what he was going to get next. 

As I sat there thinking about how funny he was being, it dawned on me that I often do the same thing!  I don't necessarily do this with food, but with every day activities and life in general.  Being a stay at home mom isn't the most glamorous job in the world!  It's easy to get lost in laundry, dishes and the day-to-day routine of life.  I often find myself "dreaming" about the days when my children are in school.  I start to wonder what type of job I'll have again someday, how I can be more involved in my church, etc.  I dream of days that there aren't 10 million toys all over the floor and crying children.  I know that there's nothing wrong with thinking about my future, but I often find myself unable to enjoy what's going on NOW, because I'm wishing for the future to come.   I've been neglecting to enjoy the blessings that God has already placed in my life.

I looked at my little girl the other day, and I realized that time is going by so quickly!  I've been praying that God shows me how to enjoy my life and my family more.  I don't want to look back someday and realize that I wished away some of the best years of my life.  I pray that God shows me how to pay attention and recognize the blessings that I have each and every day - even if it's hidden in the "routine" of daily life. 

Are you finding the blessings in the season of life you're in today?

Gotta Love Him!

When Joshua and I were leaving the mall today, he threw a HUGE tantrum. Everybody was looking at us, and it was awful. (It wasn't the first time or the last, I'm sure!)

As soon as we got home he took off his hat, and this what his hair looked like! (He tends to sweat when he gets really upset!) It would NOT go down! Thank goodness we weren't going out for lunch, because I would have been pretty surprised if I took his hat off in the restaurant and his hair looked like that!

Just A Few Pictures...

This last picture needs a little explanation!  I was looking for the play-dough the other day, and I couldn't figure out where all of the containers went.  They all disappeared!  I finally decided to ask Joshua to see if he knew where they were, because they weren't in the drawer that I put all of his "crafty" supplies in.  He promptly said, "They're under the table, Mommy." (He said it like I should have known that this was the obvious place for them to be!)  Anyhow, I thought it was cute, so I took a picture of Joshua's new storage place for his play-dough.

A Boy And His Fish

My husband and son went to Cabella's this afternoon, and they came home with a fly rod and a big stuffed pillow in the shape of a fish.  Joshua told me right away that he was going to sleep with his fish tonight.  (This fish is at least 3 1/2 ft. tall!)  He also already has several stuffed animals in his bed that he is very particular about.  They have to be in the EXACT same spot every night, or Joshua can't seem to rest.  I told him that we could try to see if there was room for the fish, but he would have to take all of his stuffed animals out of his bed in order to sleep with the fish.  There wouldn't be room for eveything!  I knew this wouldn't be possible, because Joshua just loves these animals and, like I mentioned, they have to be "just so" for him to sleep at night.  I figured that he would just let his fish sleep on the floor once he realized that he had to take his other animals out of the bed.  Looks like I was wrong!  The stuffed animals got replaced!

Updates...

I saw my endocrinologist yesterday, and she explained my glucose tolerance results to me.  She told me that in a "normal" person, the first hour would show to be about 140 or a little higher.  During the 2nd and 3rd hour, the level should drop down to normal and remain there.  My results showed that my blood sugar level only went up a little, and it started to drop very quickly after that.  She told me that this is a sure "sign" of future diabetes.  She said I don't have it now, and if I lose some more weight, I can hopefully avoid ever developing diabetes in the first place.  

A huge part of me really can't believe that I'm even in this situation.  Before I became pregnant with my son (who is 3 1/2), I had always been at a normal weight.  I need to lose about 20 more pounds to be where I need to be.  I would like to lose more than that, but that sounds so overwhelming right now!  I can't believe that I have so much weight to lose.  I've already lost 30+ pounds, so I know I can do it.  Now that I've almost completely healed from my c-section, I can start exercising again.  I just have to START, which is the hardest part!

On a lighter note, Anna is 8 weeks old now!  I took a couple pictures of her this morning, and I wanted to include a couple pictures of Joshua when he was the same age.  Do you think they look alike?  I see certain similarities, but I think they look so different.  I think she's going to have a much fairer complextion, and she is already much chubbier than Joshua EVER was!  He was always so skinny.  Joshua never had any chubby baby fat rolls, so it's so cute that Anna does!