Do You Have A Secret Sin?

Is there anything in your life that you continually struggle with?  Do you have a "secret" sin that you hope is never found out?  Is there something that you find yourself doing, saying, or thinking over and over again (despite promises to yourself or someone else that you wouldn't do that anymore)?  Is there something that you have repeatedly asked God to forgive you for, and then you find yourself right back in that same situation again? 

That's exactly where I am.  I've been there for awhile, actually.

God put it in my heart yesterday that it's time to make some changes.

God revealed to me yesterday morning that I've become lazy.  I've been lazy in the sense of protecting my heart and my mind.  Have you ever had a sin in your life that you have just accepted as something you will always have to struggle with?  Maybe it's something that you don't exactly want to broadcast to the world, so you can't really talk to many people about it (if anyone). I have one of those things in my life.  I think a lot of us do, which is why I'm choosing to write about it today. 

Ephesians 6:12 states, “We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

God showed me yesterday that I'm holding onto this sin, because (to me) it's part of who I am since I've struggled with it for what seems like f-o-r-e-v-e-r.  I may not like dealing with it, but it's very difficult for me to see myself not having to struggle with this.  God has revealed to me (again) that because I'm born again, that really isn't who I am anymore.  Knowing that in my head and accepting that with my heart are two different things, though. 

God showed me yesterday that I can't be delivered from this if I can't SEE myself delivered.  When Satan starts throwing his darts at me, I tend to try to ignore it.  That's been my strategy.  Well, it's not working!  It's not working, because I eventually end up letting my guard down and I wander right back into the same old trap. 

I'll never forget what one of my pastors once said to me.  When I told her that I was trying to ignore this, she asked me if Jesus ignored Satan when he tempted Him in the wilderness.  When Satan would tempt Jesus, did Jesus fight back with God's Word, or did He turn away to say, "Wow, look at those flowers over there.  Aren't they beautiful?" That's a funny example, but it really showed me that I had not been using what God gave me to fight my battles.  I have to fight this with the Word of God. I cannot ignore it or try to change the subject. I have to fight against it with the weapon that God has given me: His Word.

Once again, I've become very lazy in doing that.  God "tapped me on the shoulder" yesterday to show me that I haven't been fighting anymore.  I've been letting Satan walk all over me.  The danger in all of this is that when I ignore it, it starts to show up in my life again without me even noticing it at first.  It's kind of like a weed.  If I ignore the weeds in my garden, they will continue to grow and take over the whole garden.  I can only "conquer" them by pulling them out by the roots.  Weeds always grow back.  You don't just pull them out once and never have to do it again.  This is something that has to be done continually.  This is what God is showing me that I need to start doing again.  To be honest, I get tired of fighting.  It's easier for me to ignore it and hope it will go away.  Sometimes it seems just too painful to fight.  I hate having to deal with this.  It's not just going to go away all by itself, though.   

All unconfessed sin eventually leads to death of some kind.  I cannot continue to ignore this, because it just leads down a slippery slope of death.  Even just recently, I have seen what repetitive sin has done in a friend's life. This person has walked away from God and is going down his/her own path. If God is not at the end of that path - death is. James 1:15 states, "Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” Sound extreme?  God has shown me that it's not.  Sin is nothing to take lightly.  It always leads you down a path away from God. 

If you have any particular sin that keeps creeping back into your life, you are not alone. 1 Peter 5:8.9 states, “Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.”

The good news is, we have a loving, all-knowing and powerful God who shows us how to conquer these things! Confess your sin to God, repent and ask for His forgiveness.  Ask Him to show you what changes you need to make in your life in order to help combat any recurring sins.  Study the bible to find out how God sees you, if you are born again.  It is often quite different than we see ourselves.  I recently wrote a post describing how God sees me vs. how I see myself. That experience was so revealing to me. 

If you're able, confide in a pastor or trusted friend.  I've learned first hand that when sin is brought out into the open, it has less power over you.  Maybe you deal with a sin that you think is no big deal, so you take it lightly.  ALL unconfessed sin leads you away from God, no matter how big or small the sin seems to you. 

I hope this has been some help or encouragement to someone.  This was not easy to write about, but I felt like I should.

Thank you, Jesus, that you are always with me.  Thank you for showing me who I am IN YOU.  I am no longer who I was.  There is nothing that is hidden from You.  I thank you that I have kept my heart tender enough to receive those little taps on the shoulder when you give them to me.  Thank you for your convictions, because they are warnings of impending danger.  Thank you for giving me armor to fight that battles that come against me.  I stand in faith for Your healing and deliverance. You are such a loving Father.