A Time For Everything

In the New Testament, the word Kairos means, “the appointed time in the purpose of God.”   

My husband and I went to Kairos the last week of January, and it was a life-changing event!  It was quite an interesting trip to pull off, because it was in Texas...and we live in Pennsylvania!  Thanks to some wonderful friends and family, we were able to go and have our children well-cared for while we were gone.

It's really interesting how God orchestrated this whole trip in the first place!  I had someone leave a comment on my blog a few months back, and she told me that I might be interested in listening to one of her church's messages.  I wasn't sure, at first, because I knew nothing about her church and I wanted to be careful of what I listened to.  I looked up the church's website, though, and I noticed that it was a church in Texas with many people I have heard of (from worship CD's, TV shows and marriage conferences).  I was so excited to listen to this particular message, and within the next few weeks I listened to several of them!  They have a Freedom Ministry that I was immediately drawn to, and I shortly learned about Kairos through that ministry.

Kairos was definitely an appointed time of God for us!  God touched our hearts in so many ways that I'm not even sure how to explain it all right now!  God showed me just how much shame I have been carrying around, and how much I still needed to forgive a couple of people in my life.  Over 2 days, we covered several topics that opened my eyes to so much of what has been going on in my life.

Some of the topics were:

Rejection
Father Wounds
Mother Wounds
Soul ties
Inner vows and Judgments
Inner Healing

This ministry is so powerful, and I recommend this for anyone who is seeking freedom and healing in their lives.  I guess we're all seeing freedom in some way!  Freedom is found when you begin to discover who God made you to be.  I realize that not everyone can go to Texas for Kairos, but if you're ever able...it would change your life!  As I know that most of you may not be able to do that, I also wanted to pass along the link to their Freedom Classes where they have online sermon audio's on several different topics, including the one's I listed above.  These classes have changed my life (and my husband's), and I'm still amazed at how God has used them in my life already. 

I almost forgot to mention that my husband and I met with my blogger friend, Alex, while we were in Texas!  We started reading each other's blogs after she left me that comment, and I then told her we were coming down for Kairos.  We had dinner with she and her husband when we were down there, and we had such a great time!  For those of you who have blogs, how often do you get to meet an online blogger friend?  Definitely not very often.

It was great to meet you in person, Alex, and thank you for leaving me that comment and starting us on this freedom journey!  Alex's blog is quite a testimony to the freedom that she is experiencing in her life as she continues to learn who God created her to be.  Check it out sometime!   Journey to Beauty 

Picture credit:  amcorenterprises.com

I Am New

I recently came across the song, "I Am New" by Jason Gray.  This song really ministers to me, and  if I had to pick a song to describe my life over the last couple of years, it would definitely be this one.  It's like I could have written it myself!  Thank you, Jesus, for making us brand new when we give our lives to You.  It's such a difficult concept to understand before that happens, but it's so real.  My life is living proof!  (Be sure to pause the music at the bottom of my blog, first.)

Finish The Race!

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace" (Acts 20:24).

Have you ever thought about the process of how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly?  According to The Academy of Natural Sciences,

The caterpillar is referred to as a pupa during the transition stage. Depending on the species, the pupa may be suspended under a branch, hidden in leaves or buried underground. This stage can last from a few weeks, a month or even longer. Some species have a pupal stage that lasts for two years.  It may look like nothing is going on but big changes are happening inside. Special cells that were present in the larva are now growing rapidly. They will become the legs, wings, eyes and other parts of the adult butterfly. It reaches the adult stage when it finally looks like the butterflies we see flying around.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17).

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)

This is so similar, in many ways, to the process we go through when following Christ.  When we give our lives to follow Him, we begin to change. Part of the "proof" of true repentance includes a changed life.  I found it interesting to learn that butterflies are not all in the cocoon for the same amount of time.  This is the same for us, as Christ followers.  When we begin following Jesus, we begin a major transformation.  God helps us transform by pruning us.  There is no set time for this process to occur.  We do not become Christians and become completely transformed in 6 months. (Wouldn't that be something?)  Although we will never be completely transformed until we are in Heaven, we will all go through the process at different "speeds" here on earth.  Why is this?  This is just my opinion, but I think that depending on our willingness to surrender, the amount of "junk" that we let into our lives before we got saved, not to mention the specific call on our lives all influence how long the majority of this process takes.

Are You Bearing Good Fruit?

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing (John 15:5).

God promises us that if we are following Him, He will prune us.  Pruning can sometimes (often) be painful, but it is necessary in order to stay alive in Him.  If we completely surrender our lives to Him, we will bear good fruit. Pardon my poor example, but sometimes you may feel like the only fruit you're bearing is raisins, while everyone else around you is bearing watermelons.  It may seem like nothing is going on in the inside, but (like the former caterpillar) major changes are occurring!  The longer you follow Christ, the more you are transformed into His image.  God knows the speed in which we are being transformed, and it's not something that we should truly be concerned with.  Keep your eyes on Him, and you will become more like Him!

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name" (John 15:16).

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10).

Finish The Race!

Jesus has given us all we need to finish the race that is set before us.  He desires for you to persevere!  No matter where you are on your journey, you can always remember that as long as you're following Christ - you're right where you're supposed to be.  It's easy for some of us (myself included) to think about months (and years) that went by when we weren't in God's will for our lives, even after we dedicated our lives to Him.  It's easy to feel frustrated by thoughts like "I should be further along in this whole process" or "I'm so behind everyone else".  I personally understand those thoughts, because I went through a time like that.  My husband and I were both saved the same year.  I went through a few tough years when I was not following Christ as I should have been.  When I got  back "in the race", I felt so far behind my husband.  I was continually frustrated with myself when I compared my spiritual growth to his (first mistake!), and all it did was make things worse.  If you can relate to what I'm saying, do yourself a favor and forgive yourself.  What's important is the walk you have with God NOW.
 
"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint (Isaiah 40:31).

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him" (James 1:12).

Lord, Jesus, I thank you for the continual transforming process that we go through.  You do not leave us when we're only half-way through!  As we focus our eyes on you, we are becoming more like You every day.  I will keep my eyes on You and finish my race!  Thank you, Jesus.  Amen

Picture Credit:  blogs.orlandosentinel.com

What's Driving You?

“Commit (roll) everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you” (Psalm 37:5).

Back in July, I was asked by my pastors if I would create and write a weekly devotional based on the Sunday messages. I was so excited, and I couln't wait to set it up and start writing. I had been praying about writing a devotional one day, and I just “knew” that this was my chance.

After a couple of weeks, my momentum slowed down and I started to get frustrated. My daughter started becoming much more mobile, and I was not able to get as much done while she was awake. Instead of spending her nap time working on the devotional, I needed to spend it getting other things done around the house. I also never realized how difficult it would be for me to write a devotional based on a message that God gave someone else! I really enjoyed doing it, but it took me a lot longer than I anticipated. I had to study each individual scripture in the message and fully understand all of the material in order to write about it. In one aspect it was great, because I was studying the Word and getting so much more out of the messages than I normally would have. On the other hand, it was taking up so much more time than I had anticipated. I was having so much trouble finding the time to do all of this each week, and I was getting more frustrated with myself as the weeks passed by.

I finally said something to my pastor, but I unfortunately waited until I was extremely frustrated and stressed over the whole thing. I have a difficult time backing out of commitments once I make them, and I didn’t want to have to say I couldn’t do it anymore. I also had another motive for waiting so long, though. God showed me that I held off telling my pastor as long as I did, because I didn’t want someone else to do it. I didn’t want to feel like someone else was taking my place. How’s that for honesty? (Some time has passed since then, and I'm thankfully over that now!)

“Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him." Psalm 37:7

God has been showing me these last few weeks that I am sometimes driven by things that make me feel special and valuable. I want to feel useful. Being a stay-at-home-mom can be lonely sometimes, and it’s easy to feel isolated from everyone else. It’s easy to take on extra responsibilities in order to feel like I’m finally doing something “important”.

What is the driving force behind the decisions you make?

If you find yourself saying “yes” to things that you know you don’t have time for, or feeling frustrated while taking on extra projects, ask yourself why you decided to do them in the first place. There is nothing you could do that would give you more worth in God’s eyes! He loves you and knows your heart better than anyone. You are never overlooked by Him. You are precious to Him, and He loves you more than you know.

Who Do You See?

2 Corinthians 5:17 "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!"

If you have given your life to Christ, your old life is no longer the "real" you.  This is something that most of us have heard from time to time, but do we really believe it?

- How often do you find yourself dwelling over regrets from your past?

- Are you able to truly connect with the identity you have in Christ more than the identity of your past?

Many of us go through our lives making some pretty colossal mistakes before we give our lives to Christ.  It's easy for us to "adopt" that identity and not let go of it, even after we are following Jesus.

How do you see yourself?  When you look in the mirror, do you see:

- An adulterer?

- A liar?

- A thief?

- A failure?

- A person with no purpose?

If you are a born again Christian, you have been made new!  All of those things have passed away, and God remembers them no more.  He wants you to let go of your old identity and embrace your new identity in Him. 

Up until recently, I would literally look in the mirror and "see" someone who questioned aspects of her sexuality.  (If you're totally confused about what I'm talking about, you can read this series.)  It wasn't until recently that I realized what actually went through my mind when I looked in the mirror.  I was holding onto a false identity from my past.  No, I didn't like it, and I didn't want to be reminded of it.  That's what I saw when I looked in the mirror, though.  I have since realized that I need to let go of that identity, because it is no longer who I am.  Some people have been surprised that I have decided to be so transparent with this part of my past.  To be honest, not that long ago I thought I would go to my grave without ever telling anyone.  Since realizing that it's not me anymore, though, I feel complete freedom in sharing it in hopes that I can help someone else.  That can only be God!  I can now look in the mirror and see who God is transforming me to be. 

I see a person who is saved by the grace of God.

I see someone who is loved by God.

I see someone who is experiencing freedom in Him.

I see someone who has a purpose.

Pray that God shows you who you "see" when you look in the mirror. Who do you see?  Does is line up with how God sees you? 

Thank you, Jesus, that you have made me into a new person!  The old me is gone, and I no longer need to see all of the "junk" from my past when I look in the mirror.  I am starting to see the person who You created me to be.

Picture credit

Our Rock Among Pebbles

"For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights" (2 Samuel 22:32-34).

I've been trying to eat healthy food and exercise for quite some time now. Most days I do pretty well. I've noticed that when I have a trying and emotional day, though, I tend to give up and settle for what my flesh wants instead. God has been showing me that instead of turning to Him, I often turn to food (among other things) for comfort when I'm feeling lonely, tired, bored, weary and overwhelmed.

"When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you" (Deuteronomy. 20:1).

God wants us to turn to Him for everything in our lives. He wants us to look to Him when we're feeling overwhelmed. So often we turn to everything else first. When nothing else works, we decide to turn to Him. He is the only one who can satisfy and sustain us. God is our Rock! Everything else we turn to is just a pebble in comparison.

"Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me" (Psalm 54:4).

What do you turn to in times of worry, stress, loneliness, boredom or confusion?

Complaining?
Sleep?
Excessive planning?
Isolation?
Food?
Gossip?
Criticism of self/others?
Drugs/alcohol or other addictive substances & behaviors?
Shopping?
Unhealthy relationships?

Jesus, You are my Rock and my Redeemer.  You never move.  You never waiver.  You never change. I love you.

Picture credit: cantelow.com

Another Testimony of Freedom!

I have been so blessed by the comments and e-mails that I have received from my posts on My Path To Freedom.  I was incredibly nervous to write these posts, but God has given me so much grace and mercy throughout all of this.  I have received several e-mails from Christian women who have also dealt with homosexual/bi-sexual feelings over their lifetimes. 

This is not something that is widely talked about within the church, and I'm beginning to realize that it affects so many women's lives.  No one talks about it, and this makes it even more shameful for the women dealing with this.  It's one thing to deal with this before becoming a Christian, but it's an entirely different thing to deal with these unwanted thoughts/feelings after you become a Christian!  I know that I walked around for so many years feeling like there was something wrong with me, and that I was the only one.  I never knew that other Christian women had dealt with this in their lifetimes (even after they became Christians).  The thought of me being the only one who has dealt with this was what kept this bondage so strong for me throughout the years.  A friend of mine mentioned her struggles with this, and it ministered to me so much.  She had no idea at the time what I had been through.  Her story is what started to break this bondage in my life.  I have also talked to another woman I know who had a similar experience.  Like I mentioned in my earlier posts about this, keeping this a secret is one of the things makes this bondage so strong.  When it's let out into the open, the grip it has on a person's life starts to loosen. 

I wanted to share a testimony I received in an e-mail (with her permission) of a woman who struggled with the same thing for many years.  She is now a Christian woman who is married with 2 children.  This is her testimony...

"Sometimes, because you have something missing in your life, you do things to compensate. That's what happened to me.

I am a 22 year old woman who has been saved since I was eight years old. Over the past 7 years, my life has been slowly going downhill due to circumstances all around me: my mother being diagnosed with anorexia/OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) / major depression, the “loss” of my father through his withdrawing from our family, quitting college because of depression, endless relationships with men that ended in tragedy. I remember for some time, due to the influence of my mother, I was very conscious of my weight and appearance. I always looked at the girls around me, comparing myself to them. Somehow, through the constant viewing, comparing, looking, I found myself becoming interested in women.

I remember, at college, “having” to watch the Ellen “coming out” episode. At that time, I had NO IDEA that I had homosexual feelings, but something was at work within me, and it was a dangerous thing. I left school after 1 1/2 years due to major depression. I could not concentrate in school, and there were two guys that I had dated that went there, and I couldn't take the stress.

When I returned home, something inside me made me post an ad on the Internet. I met *Sarah, a lesbian not too far from me. She was looking for someone too, like I was. I had never had a homosexual experience, and quite frankly, never considered one. I can't tell you exactly what made me “discover” my feelings for other women, but it was evident. And I didn't want to ignore it. She brought me to a gay bar, where, over the past 2 1/2 years I have spent my life. I have dated various women there, and ended up dating someone very seriously. I moved in with her after 3 months of dating, and lived with her for about four months. I was ABSOLUTELY convinced that I was gay. The Bible was wrong; I even found myself searching for books on the acceptance of Christianity and homosexuality.

During this period of my life, I cared for no one but myself. I did drugs (cocaine, XTC, pot, mushrooms), did a considerable amount of cigarette smoking, drank continuously. I was so depressed. I was so anxious. And I was so away from God.

I don't know if it was the people praying for me, or God Himself, reaching out to me in His mercy, but one day I had decided to leave the lifestyle - and the club, which I had made my home. I knew EVERYONE there, and we were all a “family.” I decided that on that night, I would bring my girlfriend to the bar and tell her that I could not see her anymore. I proceeded to get very drunk, knowing that I couldn't handle it sober. And, I sat down with her in a small booth in the back of the restaurant. There, I told her that I could not see her anymore, and that I needed time to think. This was one of the scariest things that I had ever done in my life. I was giving up my lover, my “family” and all of my friends…and I had to trust God…but would he deliver me?

Tears streaming down both of our faces, I could not believe, at that moment, what I was hearing. The gay bar doubled as a dance club on Saturday nights, and it was a Saturday. Out of haze, in the midst of my drunkenness, I heard the Jars of Clay song, belting through the speakers, melting my heart:

Lift me up, when I'm falling...

Life me up, I'm weak and I'm dying...

Lift me up, I need you to hold me...

Lift me up, to keep me from drowning again...

God came to me that night. God heard me, even in my wretched sin. God heard me plead for the life I once knew, and He came to me that night, in the form of a song, bolting through me like lightning. Since then, I have never been the same.

I can proudly say, now, that I have a wonderful relationship with a Christian man. We encourage each other all the time in Christ. For a long time after all of this occurred, I struggled continuously with my lust for women. I truly believe that it was I choice I MADE to bring this sin into my life, and now I am paying the consequences for lost and loved friends, a woman who I hurt very badly due to my selfishness, and lust. Yes, I do still lust, but God is in control! When I feel this way, I PRAY. When I don't feel that way, I pray. And, I can honestly say, that God HAS supplied all of my needs. Trust me friends, homosexuality is not your answer. Trust in the Lord, and he will deliver you, like he delivered me."   - Joycelyn. age 22

Confessing God's Word

About a year ago I made up a daily confession that I intended to read every morning.  (I think I kept it up for about a couple of weeks!)  I just recently got it back out and decided that I need to revisit the idea of reading it every day again. 

I've noticed that I struggle with the same things in my life.  Most of them stem from the way that I think.  If a situation upsets me, I so easily find myself thinking about it over and over again.  This does nothing but make me more upset, of course!  That's just one example of how focusing on the Word of God, instead of what makes me angry, can change the focus of my day.

Whether we realize it, or not, we are constantly "confessing" things over our lives all the time.  I have often found myself "confessing" that I'm not a good mom, I'm not patient enough, etc.  If I tell myself that I don't have any patience long enough...I won't!  If I can focus on negative things all day, I can just as easily focus on God's Word throughout day, instead.  I'd rather focus on who God has called me to be, even if I don't see the "fruit" of that right now in my life!  It may take more effort, but I believe it's worth it. 

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- His good, pleasing and perfect will."

Confessing God's Word over my life is something that helps give me focus for my day.  Reading it helps to remind me what God's priorities are - and they are not necessarily my own!  Actually, it helps to make His priorities my own.  It reminds me what is really important.  It reminds me of who I am in Him (even if I don't feel like that person)!  I don't know about you, but I need reminded of that every day!
 
Here is my daily confession that I have started praying over my day.  They are all based on God's Word and who He has called me to be.  I want to say upfront that this is not a matter of mind control or trying really hard to convince myself of something!  It's not meant to be a "ritual" where I don't even pay attention to what I'm saying anymore.  It's also not something that I have to to every day.  I've noticed what a HUGE difference it makes in my life; and for that reason alone, it's worth it!  God's Word is living, which is why it transforms our lives when we let it!

Today I make the decision to surrender my entire day to you, Lord!
 
I work for You.  I have a basic plan for my day, but I will not get frazzled when that plan is interrupted! Thank you for the grace that I need to handle trying times with wisdom and mercy.

Through regular time in Your presence, Your Word will become even more of a reality in my life. I am a daughter of the living God! You accept me. Your Word will always be the final authority in my life.  I will put my feelings, wants and desires aside if they do not follow Your Truth.

I cast all my cares on you. I wait upon the Lord, and He renews my strength. I do ALL things without grumbling and complaining. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. My mind is being renewed by the Word of God daily. I bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

I am not lukewarm or a compromiser. I will not be conformed to this world. I am being transformed into the image of Christ. I see myself as You see me, according to Your living Word. No matter what Satan tries to hold over my head, and no matter what lies he throws at me, I will look to You to tell me who I really am.

I know that without faith it is impossible to please You, God. I am developing my faith every day. I am not ruled by my feelings. I am not in bondage to my emotions. Your Word is above my circumstances. The righteous man falls seven times, but rises again! I will be anxious for nothing. I receive peace as my mind is fixed on You.

I am the Godly wife and mother that You have called me to be. You have equipped me to serve my husband and children by keeping a peaceful and orderly home. I will pursue excellence, because I serve a God of excellence! Thank you for giving me the grace, mercy, patience and wisdom that it takes to raise my children. I will come to You first when I am unsure of how to handle something, or when I get angry.

I am righteous; therefore, I am bold as a lion. The Word of God abides in me, and I am an overcomer. I am complete in Him. I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus who loves me. Your Word will not return void but will accomplish the things for which it was sent. You have called me to encourage others and show them who You are. I will stir up the gifts within me and step out in faith, even when I’m petrified and unsure of what to say!

I am going to do the work of Jesus today. Whatever the task this day, I will do it heartily as serving the Lord.  

Thank you, God, that you have shown me who I really am IN YOU.  Your Word is living, and it changes my life!

Do You Have A Secret Sin?

Is there anything in your life that you continually struggle with?  Do you have a "secret" sin that you hope is never found out?  Is there something that you find yourself doing, saying, or thinking over and over again (despite promises to yourself or someone else that you wouldn't do that anymore)?  Is there something that you have repeatedly asked God to forgive you for, and then you find yourself right back in that same situation again? 

That's exactly where I am.  I've been there for awhile, actually.

God put it in my heart yesterday that it's time to make some changes.

God revealed to me yesterday morning that I've become lazy.  I've been lazy in the sense of protecting my heart and my mind.  Have you ever had a sin in your life that you have just accepted as something you will always have to struggle with?  Maybe it's something that you don't exactly want to broadcast to the world, so you can't really talk to many people about it (if anyone). I have one of those things in my life.  I think a lot of us do, which is why I'm choosing to write about it today. 

Ephesians 6:12 states, “We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

God showed me yesterday that I'm holding onto this sin, because (to me) it's part of who I am since I've struggled with it for what seems like f-o-r-e-v-e-r.  I may not like dealing with it, but it's very difficult for me to see myself not having to struggle with this.  God has revealed to me (again) that because I'm born again, that really isn't who I am anymore.  Knowing that in my head and accepting that with my heart are two different things, though. 

God showed me yesterday that I can't be delivered from this if I can't SEE myself delivered.  When Satan starts throwing his darts at me, I tend to try to ignore it.  That's been my strategy.  Well, it's not working!  It's not working, because I eventually end up letting my guard down and I wander right back into the same old trap. 

I'll never forget what one of my pastors once said to me.  When I told her that I was trying to ignore this, she asked me if Jesus ignored Satan when he tempted Him in the wilderness.  When Satan would tempt Jesus, did Jesus fight back with God's Word, or did He turn away to say, "Wow, look at those flowers over there.  Aren't they beautiful?" That's a funny example, but it really showed me that I had not been using what God gave me to fight my battles.  I have to fight this with the Word of God. I cannot ignore it or try to change the subject. I have to fight against it with the weapon that God has given me: His Word.

Once again, I've become very lazy in doing that.  God "tapped me on the shoulder" yesterday to show me that I haven't been fighting anymore.  I've been letting Satan walk all over me.  The danger in all of this is that when I ignore it, it starts to show up in my life again without me even noticing it at first.  It's kind of like a weed.  If I ignore the weeds in my garden, they will continue to grow and take over the whole garden.  I can only "conquer" them by pulling them out by the roots.  Weeds always grow back.  You don't just pull them out once and never have to do it again.  This is something that has to be done continually.  This is what God is showing me that I need to start doing again.  To be honest, I get tired of fighting.  It's easier for me to ignore it and hope it will go away.  Sometimes it seems just too painful to fight.  I hate having to deal with this.  It's not just going to go away all by itself, though.   

All unconfessed sin eventually leads to death of some kind.  I cannot continue to ignore this, because it just leads down a slippery slope of death.  Even just recently, I have seen what repetitive sin has done in a friend's life. This person has walked away from God and is going down his/her own path. If God is not at the end of that path - death is. James 1:15 states, "Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” Sound extreme?  God has shown me that it's not.  Sin is nothing to take lightly.  It always leads you down a path away from God. 

If you have any particular sin that keeps creeping back into your life, you are not alone. 1 Peter 5:8.9 states, “Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.”

The good news is, we have a loving, all-knowing and powerful God who shows us how to conquer these things! Confess your sin to God, repent and ask for His forgiveness.  Ask Him to show you what changes you need to make in your life in order to help combat any recurring sins.  Study the bible to find out how God sees you, if you are born again.  It is often quite different than we see ourselves.  I recently wrote a post describing how God sees me vs. how I see myself. That experience was so revealing to me. 

If you're able, confide in a pastor or trusted friend.  I've learned first hand that when sin is brought out into the open, it has less power over you.  Maybe you deal with a sin that you think is no big deal, so you take it lightly.  ALL unconfessed sin leads you away from God, no matter how big or small the sin seems to you. 

I hope this has been some help or encouragement to someone.  This was not easy to write about, but I felt like I should.

Thank you, Jesus, that you are always with me.  Thank you for showing me who I am IN YOU.  I am no longer who I was.  There is nothing that is hidden from You.  I thank you that I have kept my heart tender enough to receive those little taps on the shoulder when you give them to me.  Thank you for your convictions, because they are warnings of impending danger.  Thank you for giving me armor to fight that battles that come against me.  I stand in faith for Your healing and deliverance. You are such a loving Father.

My Identity In Christ

A friend of mine (you know who you are!) told me that God showed her one day that she was comparing herself to others.  She decided to draw a bunch of circles and write what she doesn't like about herself in them and who she was comparing herself to. She then looked at her list and knew that God was telling her that she isn't supposed to compare herself to anyone.  God created her (and her personality) just the way He wanted her to be!  He made her like that for a reason! She read me a list of her "flaws", and I just kept thinking to myself, "I could have written the same list!"  (I do have to add that I was surprised to hear what she said.  I don't see her this way at all!  I guess this goes to show that we are sometimes so much more critical of ourselves than others are.)

A week or so later, I came up with my own list and shared it with her.  I then decided to create an additional group of circles that shows how God sees me, despite how I see myself.  I'm a visual person, so this really helped me to "see" what I've been thinking!  Since I've been trying to be brave, lately, (ha ha) I thought I'd share my list with you. 

We all have a mental list of perceived flaws that we have.  Yes, there are things in my life that I need to work on.  Yes, I seem to mess up in the same areas of my life over and over again.  What I'm realizing, though, is that I often see myself to be flawed.  I compare myself to others, thinking that I should be more like them.  For example, I don't like that I'm quiet.  I have learned throughout the years that it makes people uncomfortable.  I also have found out that many people mistake me being quiet for not liking them.  This isn't the case...I just often don't know what to say.  I wish I was more outgoing (like my husband, for example), but that's just not the way I'm wired, I guess!

I have this list of things that I think is wrong with me running through my head over and over again all day long.  Not only is this NOT how God wants me to see myself, I realize that it also affects the way I react towards other people and situations that I come across every day.  Well, enough stalling.  Here's my list... (You can click on the picture it if you can't see it clearly.)

HOW I SEE MYSELF

When a person is born again, he/she receives a new identity.  I might not feel any different sometimes, but I received a new identity in Christ when I gave my life over to Jesus to be my Lord and Savior.  Despite how I feel, this is how God sees me and how He wants me to see myself:

WHO I AM IN CHRIST

How do you see yourself?  If you are born again, Christ wants you know that you are a new creation in Him!  If you aren't born again, you can ask God to forgive you, walk towards Him by turning away from your sins, and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior.  If you make the decision to follow Him, you will have a new identity in Him that includes so much more than what I have listed above!

Philippians 1:6:  being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus, that you don't see me as I see myself. When You look at me You focus on my heart, not every little thing that I have done wrong.  You have promised to never leave me, and You will always continue to help me become more like You.

He Has Not Given Us a Spirit of Fear!

2 Timothy 1:7  "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Recently, a friend of ours has presumably slipped back into a former lifestyle of substance abuse.  Besides the normal concern that most people would have for this person, I have found myself very preoccupied with the whole situation.  As I mentioned in a former post, I was married once before.  His name was Paul, and he died of a drug overdose just a few months after we got divorced.  We were only married a little over a year, but almost every day of that was filled with worry.  I knew that Paul drank too much before we got married (I foolishly thought he would just decide to stop someday!)  I also knew that he smoked pot, but I also thought he would just get tired of it and stop.  (Another foolish belief!)  There were several times before and after we got married that he "blacked out" and couldn't remember anything the next day after a night of drinking. 

After we separated, Paul confessed to me that he was using heroin and cocaine.  He told me that he had stopped, though, but in reality he hadn't.  He would call me in the middle of the night to pick him up at different houses because he was unable to drive home.  I was too worried about what would happen to him if he drove, so I wouldn't say no.  Then, one night I went to pick him up and he wasn't there.  He had walked home (to his apartment) instead of waiting for me.  I was officially done being his unofficial middle-of-the-night designated driver. 

The next day I called and told him (when he was sober) that I would no longer pick him up if he called me in the middle of the night, because I couldn't handle it anymore.  He never called me in the middle of the night again.  Unfortunately, this did not end my worry about him.  Almost every time I heard an ambulance, I worried that something happened to him.  Then one day his parents came to my apartment to give me the news that Paul had died.  I can still remember that day as if it was yesterday...

I'm saying all of this, because I've realized that just because Paul is gone doesn't mean I don't struggle with fear in this area anymore.  (Even though he died almost 10 years ago.)  This may sound strange and a bit cold (I don't mean it to be), but I remember a time after Paul died that I felt relief.  I felt relief knowing that I didn't have to worry about him anymore.  It seems, though, that this fear sometimes creeps up in other similar situations in my life.  For instance, it started to creep into this situation with this friend of ours who has presumably started using again.

I have found myself worrying like I used to.

I have found myself awake in the middle of the night preoccupied with this person. 

I have found myself trying to think of ways to "fix" this, even though I know I can't (and shouldn't even try).

God has not given me a spirit of fear!  This preoccupation with this situation is not how God wants me to be handling this.  I am supposed to give it to Him to handle.  Yes, I need to pray.  No, I don't need to worry.  It's so easy for me to feel like I'm doing something constructive if I worry.  I'm not supposed to worry.  Luke 12:25 says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"  1 Peter 5:7 states, " Cast all your cares upon Him; for He cares for you."

Do you find yourself worrying about situations you can do nothing about?  Do you worry about the same things over and over again?  Give them over to God.  That's what He commands us to do, and He's the only one who can change anything.  He's also the only one who knows the beginning from the end. 

Thank you, Jesus, that you don't leave everything (or anything for that matter) up to me to figure out by myself.  You are my protector, sustainer and provider.  Thank you for being the same yesterday, today and forever.  I refuse to worry or be fearful.  I put my trust and confidence in You.

Confessing God's Word Over My Life

A few years ago, I went through the bible to create some prayers that I wanted to confess over my life. Although it's been quite some time since I used these on a daily basis, I thought I'd post them today. All of these prayers dealt with something specific that I was struggling with at the time. This was a true example to me of how speaking The Word over my life changes my heart, which then changes my thinking, which then changes how I speak about myself and my circumstances!

PRAYER OF SALVATION

I have confessed that Jesus is Lord,
and I believe in my heart that God
raised Him from the dead. By believing
in my heart, this makes me right with
God. By confessing with my mouth, I
am saved. He saved me when I believed.
I received this as a free gift from God.
I am His masterpiece. I am a new creation.
The old things have passed away, and ALL
things have become new. God began this
great work in me and will continue until
Jesus comes again!

2 Cor. 5:17, Rom 10:9-10, Phil 1:6, Eph 2:9-10


PRAYER OF THANKSGIVING

Thank you, God, for my salvation! There
is salvation in no one else! There is no
other name in all of heaven for people to
call on to save them! At just the right time,
You heard me. On the day of salvation, You
helped me. Indeed, God is ready to help me
again today. Today is the day of salvation!
I proclaim Your unfailing love in the morning
and Your faithfulness in the evening. I will
trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is
my eternal Rock!

Acts 4:12, 2 cor. 6:2, Psalm 92:2, Isa. 26.4


PRAYER OF STRENGTH

You have armed me with strength! You have
made me as a surefooted as a deer, leading
me safely along the mountain heights. I will
wait on You, Lord, and I will find new strength.
I will then soar high with wings like an eagle.
I will run and not grow weary. I will walk and
not faint. You have given me a shield of
salvation. Your right hand supports me, and
Your gentleness has made me great. You have
made a wide path for my feet to keep them from
slipping. The Lord lives! Blessed be my Rock.
May the God of my salvation be exalted!

Psalm 18:32-33,35-36,46, Isa. 40:31