He Has Not Given Us a Spirit of Fear!

2 Timothy 1:7  "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Recently, a friend of ours has presumably slipped back into a former lifestyle of substance abuse.  Besides the normal concern that most people would have for this person, I have found myself very preoccupied with the whole situation.  As I mentioned in a former post, I was married once before.  His name was Paul, and he died of a drug overdose just a few months after we got divorced.  We were only married a little over a year, but almost every day of that was filled with worry.  I knew that Paul drank too much before we got married (I foolishly thought he would just decide to stop someday!)  I also knew that he smoked pot, but I also thought he would just get tired of it and stop.  (Another foolish belief!)  There were several times before and after we got married that he "blacked out" and couldn't remember anything the next day after a night of drinking. 

After we separated, Paul confessed to me that he was using heroin and cocaine.  He told me that he had stopped, though, but in reality he hadn't.  He would call me in the middle of the night to pick him up at different houses because he was unable to drive home.  I was too worried about what would happen to him if he drove, so I wouldn't say no.  Then, one night I went to pick him up and he wasn't there.  He had walked home (to his apartment) instead of waiting for me.  I was officially done being his unofficial middle-of-the-night designated driver. 

The next day I called and told him (when he was sober) that I would no longer pick him up if he called me in the middle of the night, because I couldn't handle it anymore.  He never called me in the middle of the night again.  Unfortunately, this did not end my worry about him.  Almost every time I heard an ambulance, I worried that something happened to him.  Then one day his parents came to my apartment to give me the news that Paul had died.  I can still remember that day as if it was yesterday...

I'm saying all of this, because I've realized that just because Paul is gone doesn't mean I don't struggle with fear in this area anymore.  (Even though he died almost 10 years ago.)  This may sound strange and a bit cold (I don't mean it to be), but I remember a time after Paul died that I felt relief.  I felt relief knowing that I didn't have to worry about him anymore.  It seems, though, that this fear sometimes creeps up in other similar situations in my life.  For instance, it started to creep into this situation with this friend of ours who has presumably started using again.

I have found myself worrying like I used to.

I have found myself awake in the middle of the night preoccupied with this person. 

I have found myself trying to think of ways to "fix" this, even though I know I can't (and shouldn't even try).

God has not given me a spirit of fear!  This preoccupation with this situation is not how God wants me to be handling this.  I am supposed to give it to Him to handle.  Yes, I need to pray.  No, I don't need to worry.  It's so easy for me to feel like I'm doing something constructive if I worry.  I'm not supposed to worry.  Luke 12:25 says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"  1 Peter 5:7 states, " Cast all your cares upon Him; for He cares for you."

Do you find yourself worrying about situations you can do nothing about?  Do you worry about the same things over and over again?  Give them over to God.  That's what He commands us to do, and He's the only one who can change anything.  He's also the only one who knows the beginning from the end. 

Thank you, Jesus, that you don't leave everything (or anything for that matter) up to me to figure out by myself.  You are my protector, sustainer and provider.  Thank you for being the same yesterday, today and forever.  I refuse to worry or be fearful.  I put my trust and confidence in You.