I'm Starting To Calm Down...

Since I found out that my amniotic fluid level was low (since yesterday, by the way, it is NORMAL again! Yea!!!!), I have been running around my house like a crazy woman trying to get things done. Knowing that I could end up in the hospital at any time if my fluid dropped too low threw me into a panic about getting things done.

I'm one of those people that just feels so much better when everything is crossed off my to-do list. (I've also been known to put something on my to-do list that I've just finished - just so I can cross it off. It just feels so good to cross things off!)

My poor husband has not been left alone too often, either. If he starts to look too comfortable, I have been putting him to work to accomplish the things that I "need" done but can't do myself. He has been so patient with me, and I have thanked him endlessly for this...

I'm starting to finally feel like I'm able to calm down a little, though. I still have plenty to do, but I don't feel that sense of panic anymore. I'm just doing a better job at giving everything up to God. (Takes me a while to catch on...) The baby is still breech, and the thought of another c-section is terrifying - let alone a huge let down to me. I had a c-section with Joshua, and I so want to experience a "regular" birth. It's hard to explain, but I feel such a need to have this baby the way my body was designed to have her. Does that make sense? I felt kind of ripped off when I had to have a c-section with Joshua, but I knew that I would someday have another chance. THIS IS IT. I desperately want to experience labor and delivery. I don't even know what it feels like to go into labor. I know that some people would think I'm crazy for wanting to experience that, but I do. I, as a woman, was designed to do this, and I want to so badly...

That being said, I have asked God many times to please let this happen, and I just have to have faith that it's His will for me to not have another c-section. I'm choosing to rest in this, and since I've done that I've calmed down so much about everything! I'm such a worrier by nature, so these types of situations are always such a huge test for me. I'm learning a lot about faith through this, though. I'm also learning to trust God and have been reminded to love Him for WHO He is, not WHAT He can do for me.

Before Anna was conceived, I prayed that God would give us a healthy girl. He gave us exactly what we asked for, and I can't wait to meet her! The doctor's have moved my due date up to Sept. 16th, so (unless she decides to come earlier), I will be having her on that day. Just 4 short weeks to go!

These are a few scriptures that I have been really focusing on lately:

1 Peter 5:7 "Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you."

Isaiah 41:10 "Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with My victorious right hand."

Isaiah 26:3-4 "He will keep in perfect peace all those who trust in Him, whose thoughts turn often to the Lord! Trust in the Lord always, for in the Lord, Jehovah, is your everlasting strength."